I think I second guessed myself no less than 1,000,000 times as to whether I was crazy or not. I always thought it was all my fault . Could I dare be prettier, smarter, make more money, just anything ?? That would make all the problems go away- I was sure. I guess some people might go a whole lifetime and not have eyes opened to this, so honestly, to say 10 years was forever- it really isn’t. At least it did finally happen, and each day I’m getting stronger. Stronger in knowing that I truly truly didn’t deserve everything that was happening to me. Actually no one does. No one deserves to be mistreated.
My mother used to tell me she feared for the life of someone who was mistreating one of God’s children and I saw it first hand in her life. However my life didn’t take the same path as hers and it didn’t really come to pass where I saw God get revenge on the hurts that we’re caused to me. I wanted to believe that was true, but so far, I haven’t seen it. That doesn’t mean it isn’t hopeful. I think what it’s saying at this point is that God is doing a new thing in my life, and I want to trust that it will be better than I could ever imagine.
With all of us, that our lives could be better than we ever dreamed to imagine.
Love,
Chelley
A Survivor’s Heart 