If you ever had your hopes dashed to the ground, then you aren’t alone. Maybe this happens in our life sometimes because God is taking us to depths we didn’t know existed. I surely hope none of the disappointments and tears are wasted. God says they aren’t , so I want to trust Him on this . .
So a wedding night, when you aren’t promised much, but still, you hope it to be a celebration. Then what? The second the gavel drops, it all changes. In a blink of an eye, the door slams with the keys in the car. That’s about how I can put it when we actually got married. He had me where he wanted me. I was imprisoned. I had taken the bait and the trap dropped.
How was I to know? How was any person that had been mixed up with a narcissist to know what had just happened? We were and are continually blindsided. it’s a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde that is real life, and a nightmare of nightmares. It’s a dream you are desperate to wake up from. This stems from the fact that a narcissist is so charming when they are trying to snare you, but the instant you get your way, the charming turns hideous- am ugly like you’ve never known.
In my instance, the honeymoon phase of a wedding went from excitement of our new life together, to go home and eat oatmeal and be my tool for whatever I need you for. People think this is stretching it a bit, but if anything, it’s sugar coating it. So, you wake up and find yourself in prison. Yet it doesn’t quite look like prison should look, so you spend your next how many years of the life inside a narc relationship second guessing yourself if it’s really as bad as you are thinking. If you are thinking it- it is . Trust knows. It’s the ego that second guesses.
Love,
Chelley
A Survivor’s Heart 