hope – A Survivor’s Heart

Coming to live after a near death experience

After a near death experience, many people claim they become different people: their personalities change, they become believers if they had not been before the experience , or something similar. I was no different in that it changed me, however it did wear off, I guess I could forget if I let myself, because sometimesContinue reading “Coming to live after a near death experience”

My near death experience

I can’t say I actually died, but I must have because when I came back, the dentist was shaking me telling me to breathe. In a way I was able to access the other side without going through the trauma of a messy death. It was amazing and bright. It was warm, and a feelingContinue reading “My near death experience”

Pain from a Golden Child

If you’ve ever wondered the exact meaning of a “Golden Child”, I can give you one from being married to a narcissist and it’s beyond painful. Of course anything dealing with narcissism is pain but this one hurts on a different level. If a narc had a child before you came into the picture, pleaseContinue reading “Pain from a Golden Child”

Wedding night with a Narcissist

If you ever had your hopes dashed to the ground, then you aren’t alone. Maybe this happens in our life sometimes because God is taking us to depths we didn’t know existed. I surely hope none of the disappointments and tears are wasted. God says they aren’t , so I want to trust Him onContinue reading “Wedding night with a Narcissist”

The courtship

So yes, I was told by my pastor that God for sure brought my narc husband and me together. How could I date doubt it? The trials had to be learning tools for me that God was working something. Or so I thought? From the beginning it was hard but I just wanted to beContinue reading “The courtship”

What if it seems like you were tricked

People say to pray for a Godly spouse. I did. I prayed my whole life for one actually. I truly prayed to my depths, but I think back, and all we can do is the best we know to do at the time. I was coming out of not one divorce, but two. Yeah thatContinue reading “What if it seems like you were tricked”

I must be crazy

I think I second guessed myself no less than 1,000,000 times as to whether I was crazy or not. I always thought it was all my fault . Could I dare be prettier, smarter, make more money, just anything ?? That would make all the problems go away- I was sure. I guess some peopleContinue reading “I must be crazy”

From the beginning

Why was I the one he didn’t want to have mercy on? I honestly believed I deserved it. For reasons I can’t explain. I do not, for one second, think I was or am alone. Even to this day, if I think of it really hard, I still could have the same mindset . HoweverContinue reading “From the beginning”